I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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