WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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