you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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