I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
