i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
