i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
