"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.