You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
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you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
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I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.