brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
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I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
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I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think I just shit out all my problems.