I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.