I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.