You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
