i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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