I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
