You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
