Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
