she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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