Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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