there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
