Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I need to stop coming to work sober
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
