the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
