How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
