I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize