You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
