So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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