He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
