dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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