I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.