Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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