You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
