Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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