To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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