you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
