i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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