I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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