DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
