This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
