i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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