It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
