Life is so much better after having sex.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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