Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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