I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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