He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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