Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
