You really coming over, don't trick.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
