And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
