I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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