I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
