I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize