Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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