Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He told me they were just razor bumps!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
