Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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