I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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