And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
