So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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