He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
