Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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