Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
