I could have mohawked her pubes.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
