We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
