I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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