Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
