I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
